What can DFSV look like?

• Taking control of money

• Making someone ask for money

• Racking up debt in their name

• Stopping them from working or getting Centrelink

• Forcing them to hand over pay or entitlements

• Making it hard to keep a job

• Hitting, slapping, punching, kicking

• Grabbing, pulling hair, choking

• Using weapons (can be knives, tools, belts, anything that is not a body part)

• Holding someone down or stopping them from leaving

Choking and strangulation are very dangerous. Even if it seems minor, get medical help.

• Threatening to “out” someone

• Stopping access to gender-affirming care or support

• Touching no-go zones

• Saying hurtful things about their gender or sexuality

• Stopping someone from going out

• Making it hard to see family or friends

• Getting jealous when they spend time with others

• Making them feel it’s easier to stay home

• Tracking someone’s phone or location

• Reading their messages without permission

• Forcing shared social media accounts

• Sending unwanted messages

• Posting personal photos or private info

• Pretending to be them online

• Watching their online activity

• Putting them down or making fun of them

• Blaming them or making them feel crazy

• Making them feel worthless or ashamed

• Giving the silent treatment

• Using mental health issues to control them

• Leaving weapons around

• Making threatening looks or gestures

• Hurting or killing pets

• Breaking things

• Blocking the door or standing over them

• Yelling or shouting

• Name-calling or using cruel nicknames

• Saying mean, rude or insulting things

• Speaking in a scary or threatening tone

• Saying “It’s not a big deal”

• Blaming others

• Acting like the victim

• Making excuses for bad behaviour

• Saying they’ll hurt themselves or others

• Threatening to report someone to the police or child safety

• Saying they’ll destroy things

• Holding things over someone to make them do something

• Acting like they’re the boss

• Making all the rules

• Expecting others to do everything around the house based on gender

• Using their job, connections or status to scare or control

• Threatening to take the kids

• Telling the kids hurtful things about the parent

• Using kids to send messages

• Saying things to make someone feel like a bad parent

• Threatening to get authorities involved

• Stopping someone from seeing a doctor

• Controlling what they eat, wear, or how they look

• Controlling access to medicine or sleep

• Telling them they’re faking illness

• Watching or controlling their hygiene or personal care

• Blocking access to support equipment

Coercive control is ongoing abuse that happens over time.
It can include emotional abuse, threats, isolation, technology abuse and controlling someone’s health, money or choices.

It can wear a person down until they feel trapped, scared, or unsure how to leave.

Coercive control is very serious and dangerous.
It can happen even without physical violence.

This is sometimes called elder abuse.

The person using violence is in a position of trust, like a family member, friend, or carer.

Abuse of older people can include all types of domestic, family and sexual violence:

• Financial abuse – controlling or stealing money, big or strange purchases

• Emotional abuse – making the person feel afraid, confused, or small

• Neglect – not helping with food, hygiene, or care if the person depends on them

• Physical abuse – hitting or harming their body

• Sexual abuse – any unwanted sexual contact

Keep an eye out for:

• Sudden fear or anxiety, especially around certain people

• Looking thin, hungry, or unwashed

• Unexplained changes in bank accounts or spending

• People dismissing what the older person says, especially if they mention memory or health issues — take all signs seriously

There are specialist services for victims experiencing elder abuse. Visit our Contacts & Resources page.

Some people use culture or religion to control others. This is never okay.

This kind of abuse can include:

• Forcing someone to follow a religion or spiritual practice

• Using religion as a reason for violence or abuse

• Saying hurtful things about someone’s cultural or spiritual beliefs

• Not letting them wear cultural or religious clothing

• Stopping them from going to cultural or religious places or events

Everyone has the right to practice their culture, religion or spirituality safely.

People with disability or impairments can face higher risks of abuse, and it can be harder to speak up.

Abuse can include all types of domestic, family and sexual violence and can look like:

• Taking away or hiding equipment like hearing aids, wheelchairs, or communication devices

• Any of the other forms of domestic, family or sexual violence

• Using the person’s disability as an excuse to control them

Look out for signs like:

• Changes in behaviour — acting scared, nervous, or withdrawn

• Avoiding certain people suddenly

• Mood swings or outbursts that feel “out of character”

• Becoming quiet or scared in places where they used to feel safe

Sexual violence can be done by someone the person knows — or by a stranger.

It can happen in relationships, families, friendships, workplaces, or in the community.

Sexual violence includes things like:

• Pressuring someone into sex or sexual acts

• Not stopping when someone says “no”

• Touching someone in a sexual way without permission

• Doing sexual things when someone is asleep or unable to say yes

• Removing or not using condoms without permission

• Not telling someone they have a sexually transmitted infection

Sexual violence doesn’t always leave physical injuries. It’s still serious.