Finding a safe way out

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A woman sitting on the grass watching two children jump in a backyard during sunset, with a trampoline in the background.

  • If you’re reading this, you or someone you care about might be thinking about stepping away from or leaving a relationship where there is domestic, family, or sexual violence.

    Leaving a violent person can be the most dangerous time.
    That’s because when the victim tries to leave or create distance, the person using violence may feel like they are losing power and control. They may respond with more abuse to try to get that control back.

    This is why having a plan and thinking about safety during this time is so important.

    But remember — plans might need to change quickly if things become unsafe. Trust your gut. You know your situation best.

    If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 000.
    You can also reach out to a domestic, family and sexual violence service for support. Contacts & Resources.

  • Make a Plan (Safety Plan)

    A safety plan is a personal plan to help keep yourself (and others, like children or pets) safer.
    It uses your knowledge of the person using violence — you know their patterns, moods, and behaviour better than anyone else.

    Some things to consider:

    • Slowly gather important items: ID, birth certificates, legal papers.

    • If safe, open a new bank account and talk to the bank about keeping it secure.

    • Call Centrelink — they have specialist staff who can help. Contacts & Resources.

    • Think about getting free Australian Post mail redirection to a safe, trusted address.

    • Talk to a domestic and family violence service about legal help (before leaving, if possible). Contacts & Resources.

    • Think about safe excuses you can use to leave the house if needed.

    • Plan how you could leave the home quickly if danger increases.

    • Is there a safer room in the house you could go to in an emergency?

    • Consider learning more about or talking to a domestic and family service or legal service about a domestic violence order if you don’t have one, OR if you have a domestic violence order, think about speaking to a domestic violence service or legal service about reviewing the conditions. Contacts & Resources.

    • Remember, it is still important to plan for safety even if you already have a domestic violence order.

  • If possible, have a second phone that the person using violence doesn’t know about.

    • Keep it charged and with some credit.

    • Add safe contact numbers.

    • Use a cheap prepaid phone if needed.

    • Some apps are made to help victims. These apps are free and can provide support to victims with safety features, tech safety guidance, and information about available support services. Contacts & Resources.

    You can also contact us to talk about a safe mobile phone.

  • If safe to do so, pack a small bag and store it with someone you trust.
    Include:

    • Medication

    • Important documents

    • Clothes and toiletries

    • Comfort items for children (like a teddy or blanket)

    Don’t worry if you can’t get a bag together. Support services can talk to you about your belongings later if needed.

    You can also contact us to talk about an escape bag.

  • Think about who you trust. Can they:

    • Keep your bag or documents safe?

    • Let you stay with them?

    • Help with children or pets?

    • Be a support person or just someone to talk to?

    • Check in with you, or have a code word plan in case you need help?

    You don’t need one person to do it all — you might have different people for different kinds of support.

    • Choose places that are public or have security cameras (CCTV).

    • Try to change your routine (routes to work, school, shops).

    • Let a trusted person know where you're going and when you'll be back.

    • Talk to your boss or workplace about staying safe at work — adjusting breaks, check-in systems, and screening calls.

    • Talk to childcare and schools.

    • Avoid using old social media accounts.
      Create new ones that don’t use your name or photo.

    • Turn off location settings on phones and apps.

    • Only connect with people you completely trust.

    • Avoid posting about where you are or what you’re doing.

    • Ask the domestic and family violence services about things that may help, like:

      • Personal alarms

      • Safe phones

      • Home or car security cameras

      • Safety upgrades for your property

    If you have children, get legal advice so you know your rights and options.

  • You are not alone.
    There are people and services that care and want to support, even if all you want right now is someone to talk to.

    You can:

    • Call a support service and just have a chat.

    • Reach out to a 24/7 helpline, especially if you’re feeling isolated or unsure about your situation. Contacts & Resources.

    • Get emotional support or practical help — you choose what feels right.

    Be kind to yourself. You are doing the best you can.